Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
