threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Someone came in the potted fern
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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