I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
