Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
