I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
