Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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