the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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