you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
