he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
