i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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