I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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