well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
