There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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