Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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