I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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