i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
