I think i peed on brittanys purse
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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