went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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