she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize