those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
