Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
