just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
