forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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