i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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