Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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