Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
