you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
