You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
