We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
