oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
