Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
