Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
false alarm, still single
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
