you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
