you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
