onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
