Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
