Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
