i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
