This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
