A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
