I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
