I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
