i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
