ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
