we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
my poor anus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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