my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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