Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Congratulations! We have a period
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
