Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
