Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
