I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize