remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
