Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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