she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
