You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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