You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
