i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
