Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
