I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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