just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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