I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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