What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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