i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
