so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
