You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
