i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
