so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
