Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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