P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
